Conversations With God!!!

Dear God,

I'm writing to you because I want me to continue believing in you like I used to. I know I don't think you're the same person you used to be but I think I'm being so selfish for believing in you when the going was good and for losing my faith when the going isn't so great.

Dear God, I would like you to know that somewhere deep down I still believe you will set everything right for me because I know it's beyond me now. And though I do not remember you as often as I should, I hope you still remember me. I am troubled that thoughts of you don't comes easily to me these days and I wish you would change that at least. If I can't have anything else, can I have you at least by my side?

Several times in a day, a prayer begins to form at my lips but I never send it you because I feel cheap asking for anything other than what you've already given me. You do know what's best for me, don't you? I hope it's just me right now who can't see it. I hope there's a good reason why you're doing this with me.

I cry a lot these days because I'm weak and vulnerable from everything that's happening around me over which I have no apparent control but which affects me in the biggest way possible. But please forgive me for those tears. They are not tears of ingratitude though they may be tears of sorrow.

Help me forget the pain, please. And help me forgive. Because I'm tired of the weight that I carry with me. I feel I am drifting away from the people I love because I'm so bitter inside. Don't take away those people away from me and blame it on me, God; don't blame me for being bitter.

I see the world around me changing. And I feel like a bystander with no part to play in it. Give me a part, God, in my own life.

Love you,
Indy

THY ABSENCE !!!

ABSENSE.....
Sometimes the physical absense of an entity is so hard to ingest into your system...isnt it ?

You can see that things are not gonna change from what they are, yet you cant bring yourself upto gulping it down.

Its at these moments you feel like you have used all your energy.....

Missing, craving, waiting, crying, wanting, needing...and still it never seems to cease embarking its existence on the lonesome grave.

The lament is too high, the pain is too deep.

And then the pinnacle of uncertainty glides into your heart, creating humungous tidals waves of doubts and questions.

Is tomorrow, just a figment of imagination rooted deep into the crust of infinity ?

Is tomorrow, just the concept of a loner's pain of eluding the sting of nullness ?

A million questions run across your mind in a million milliseconds, yet no answer shows up.

You keep drawing circles, knowing you're gonna keep doing that for a long long time. Coz the vantage point you're looking for, is somewhere hidden in between the lines of the unseen tomorrow.

Aah.........the tomorrow !!!

Whose sole mission is catapulting the innumerable neutrons of maelstroms onto the translucent membrane of emotions called 'LOVE' that wraps this innocent heart....

Making this innocent heart, ever more fragile....