22 July 2013

Its So Surprising, Actually!

... How fast time passes by.
How you block out things you thought were most important. 
How much things change.
How many emotions one person can make you feel and not in a good way. 
How there are certain days when the sun shines so bright outside that it hurts your eyes but it refuses to dispel the darkness that tiptoes around your aura threatening to engulf you. (wow, that's dramatic)
How some feelings never change. 
How some feelings change so much that you wonder why you felt them in the first place. 
How long you can go without the things that you loved the most.
How much you can change, as a person, over the short period of one year. 
How different a person you actually are from who you thought you were.
How much effort it takes to put a smile on your own face just to ensure that people don't wonder why you always have a hangdog expression.
How little it takes to fall apart.
How much you have missed out on in a world that was your world.

How cynical you have become of pretty much everything.

How long it has been since you actually had a bar of good, solid, comforting chocolate.

How small things that you left in the past come back to make you smile.
How much courage you get in knowing that you are strong enough to still want to say bring it on. 
How much happiness it infuses in you to know that someone still needs your shoulder and loves you deeply. 
How brilliant it is to have a group of people who just let you be and make you laugh.
How much hope it gives you that those people might let you call them your friends. 
How much it means to know that someone is trying to make you laugh despite everything.

How much it means when someone believes in you with a steadfastness you have yet to see in others' eyes.


A long way, I have come.
A long way, I have to go.

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