While blog hopping a couple of days back, Ria asked me (as I was the reader) as to what does Independence day mean to me. Is it just another holiday? Even after leaving my comment there, I still havent been able to get over this question.
What have I been doing on this day, every year, from as long as I can remember?
1. I eat jalebi (hot ones) in breakfast.
2. I get up late so I watch the parade from somewhere in the middle.
3. I get goosebumps and tears when I listen to 'aye mere watan ke logo'.
4. I stand up and sing aloud, when the National Anthem is played.
and ... that's it. That's all that I have been doing every year on Independence day. Why dont I strongly feel over the question 'Are we really independent?' May be the reason behind that one is my laid back attitude aka 'chalta hai' attitude. Problems like corruption, pollution, population etc are well talked about and are prevalant in the country. Everytime I come across a seminar, conference, blogposts etc over these issues which ultimately rap a question like 'Are we independent at all?' in the end, I get all worked up and feel 'oh yes we should do this and that to solve these issues'. A couple of hours gone and I am back to myself.
All that I have done about these issues is that I have written essays or have been quiet above all . Nothing concrete. Nothing specific.
Being in the warmth of my family, I have practically come across none of these issues, as strongly to make me end up becoming a social reformer. Or have I never been sensitive enough to the problems around me? I have lived, I have enjoyed, I have loved. But what have I done which could make me say, 'I am a proud citizen of the country'?
Ok let me just feel around my intellect and find out if I have done anything I could be proud of (in terms of being a part of Independent India).
1. I have never borne with eve teasing. I have screamed, I have slapped and I have helped friends. Talked to a lot of girls about not giving in, about respecting oneself and not to come across as a weaker sex.
2. I dont give alms to the beggers on the traffic lights.
3. I dont throw plastics bags, soft drink cans in parks and public gardens.
4. I dont scratch out my name or my love on the national monuments.
5. I dont throw my garbage on the roads.
6. I respect my maid, and no matter how troublesome she might get, I have never insulted her.
7. I always make it a point to help someone blind/aged in crossing the road.
8. I have never bribed any government official.
9. I have never looked down upon the poor and the needy.
10. I have always made my contribution when my college/school sends charities to orphanages and old age homes.
11. I remember the names of the attenders in my school/college and they remember me by my name too. I have always respected them more than the principal of the insititution (the principals are rarely loved) .
and I can't think of anything else. These are things I do out of habit. But now when I have written it here, it is making me feel good. I still feel I am not doing a lot of stuff which I am capable of doing and should be doing. But still I am tempted to use that phrase like the celebrities do, on the days of national importance.
~~~~I am doing my bit. Are you?~~~~~
Even writing and knowing all this doesnt make me feel better. I still feel I am a Selfish Indian who is totally involved in herself and hardly finds time (even after being totally jobless) for anyone apart from herself and her family.
Just wanted to ask you guys, Am I that bad? As in, when I die, and meet Gandhi Ji (or any freedom fighter) in the heavens above, will I be able to look straight into their eyes?
and I can't think of anything else. These are things I do out of habit. But now when I have written it here, it is making me feel good. I still feel I am not doing a lot of stuff which I am capable of doing and should be doing. But still I am tempted to use that phrase like the celebrities do, on the days of national importance.
~~~~I am doing my bit. Are you?~~~~~
Even writing and knowing all this doesnt make me feel better. I still feel I am a Selfish Indian who is totally involved in herself and hardly finds time (even after being totally jobless) for anyone apart from herself and her family.
Just wanted to ask you guys, Am I that bad? As in, when I die, and meet Gandhi Ji (or any freedom fighter) in the heavens above, will I be able to look straight into their eyes?
Happy Independence Day to All of You!!
15 August 2009
P.S The author of this post has not bragged about anything anywhere. It is just an honest post, written as an attempt to find out the 'Indian' hidden in this 'Soul of A Woman'.
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